i would like to add something
it has come to my attention that perhaps this cult is just a diversion
maybe there is something else going on
something that is beyond our knowledge
all this... just to distract us from something bigger
they throw us off by thinking there is some kind of a conspiracy going on when there is something out there with a whole totally different purpose
a conspiracy within a conspiracy
i wish i knew what that was
maybe i am going insane thinking about these things
i admit that i do over think sometimes
******************
another dream again of me being in the philippines
whattheheckisgoingon
why am i dreaming about my home lately
we were in my father's house
me, jim and my mom were packing to go on a cruise for a couple days
my mom invited some of her friends too
i invited some of mine
mama told us about the trip two days prior
which made it harder for us to get ready
so me and my brother finished packing when i suggested that we bring some socks
then he took forever to find some
and my mother, her friends and my friends had already gone (-.-)
there was only an hour left before the ship took off
my mom came back (cos she loves us) and we got on the train/shuttle
and to our surprise it took us to the opposite direction of where we were supposed to go
bam! we missed our ship :(
such a depressing dream
WHY
******************
well... slight change of plans
i guess i won't be cooking turkey tomorrow for thanksgiving
because i'm cooking it today
and cos mama says so
which makes sense cos it would take me hours to do it
plus i'm working tomorrow so that will give me a break
i already told noel to come to work early too
huuurrrr
totally forgot about the potluck at work today
yesterday the nurse told me there was going to be a little party
well geez louis... way to tell me at the last minute
i bet they purposely did that to throw me off
chyea right... probs thought they'd hurt my feelings
mah feeeeelings ahah... as if
i never cared about being a part of the company
and i ain't about to start now neegaz
bree tells me she gave me a really good reference at the nursing center
says that i'm a great leader
yeaaaaa boi wassup!
hahaha
heck... i have no idea why she lied
i'm not even a team lead
so quick to get rid of me aye!
maybe i should stick around a little while longer so i can continue to be a pain in your ass
she told me something about her personal life
about how she and her partner tried to work it out but couldn't
after being together for 20 years
bree: it's good cos i don't have to worry about a lot of things now
me: the feeling is still there though
bree: yea... but i can get rid of that pretty quick
hahahah isn't that right
i don't think she meant it though
if you truly love and care about someone, the feeling won't go away completely
doesn't matter what you do (i.e. going to parties, having multiple partners)
the good memories are still there... you can deny it all you want
but deep inside you treasure those memories
so there will be a little bit of feeling left... it will just be buried deep in your heart
it will be especially difficult if most of the memories is good
love is a complicated thing
you feel, you grieve, you learn
move on
Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me, a sinner
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