karma

gahd... i want my old life back
back when i didn't have these many worries
back when i just went to school 
and all i had to worry about was coming up with the cash to buy gas and my wants
life has tricked me...

back then, i wanted to be an adult
....THE PHUCK WAS I THINKING
the older you get, the more responsibilities you have
why why why why why why


**********************


now that i've gotten that off my chest, time to talk about happy things
life is not all that bad
i love all the things it has to offer me
-- how it gives me the opportunity to become close to people who once were strangers to me
-- how it gives me trials to make me a stronger person
-- how it showed me that normality is too boring so i allow myself to be... well, myself
-- how it allows me to see things in a different point of view
-- how to give a little too much, expecting nothing in return
-- how it reminds me that everything could be worse 
-- how it humbles me
-- how it teaches me that it's okay not to care or pay attention rather than bottling the negative emotions
-- how it allows me to meet people, and have them teach me new things
-- how it exposes me to the extraordinary places and people
-- how it gives me emotional and physical pain because that makes me know i'm alive
-- and lastly, how it gives me a second chance... a chance to start over, to move on, to become the person that i've always wanted to be... as long as there's tomorrow, there's always a chance to do better

i'm not all negative
sometimes i manage to think clearly and see what i have, how blessed i am
what more could i ask?
i have everything i need
everything else will come at the right moment when i'm ready
i trust in God's unfailing love and mercy
what i have to do now is just enjoy my life and give my problems to Him
that simple


***********************


there was a homeless man asking for change this morning

man: hi ma'am, do you have change? all i need is 99 cents to get a burger from mcdonalds

me: hold on i'll check

man: thank you... i don't have a family here i'm all alone, they're all in chicago

me: sooo... what are you doing here?

man: oh you know, just to get away from the bad stuff
(and he just kept repeating it inserting nonsense words in between)

i handed him a dollar

man: thank you ma'am

then he walks to off to the opposite direction of mcdonalds


here's what i think about people asking for change and lying about it
i believe in karma
i believe that if you lie to someone and screw them over, it will come back to bite you in the ass
you are taking advantage of someone's good heart
believe you me, it will not go unpunished
God is watching, don't think that He isn't
God knows our true intentions, He sees what's in our hearts
He knows us better than we know ourselves

if you lie to me, i'll get mad temporarily then i'll get over it
but as for you mister, you're on your own
may God have mercy on your soul

Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me, a sinner